One little cry, that’s all it takes. It’s the first sound of relief and joy you hear after housing your newborn for 9 months. Their first cry starts the development of your “mama heart”. Your main mission in life from that moment on is to provide constant shelter and protection for that life you created. How do you know when your baby bird is ready to fly?
I have two wonderful children. My husband and I have raised them to be kind, polite, and thoughtful to others. We have taught them the life lessons bestowed upon us by our parents and grandparents. We would like to think they know right from wrong, good versus evil, and when to keep their mouths shut. I know they are ready to ‘Grab Life by the horns’ when it is time. How will I know when that time is?
Our daughter never attended child care. I knew from the moment I had her, that I could not leave her. When it came time for me to return to work, I chose to stay home with her instead. Once I found out that was not financially possible, I began to babysit out of the house. Eventually, she became the oldest of my tiny tribe. She grew and learned so much that when Pre-K sign up’s came around, she was ready to hit the floor running. This fall she will embark upon her Junior High journey as a sixth grader. She is more excited than nervous whereas I am more nervous for her. As her mama, I can’t help but worry about academics and the peer pressure that comes with Junior High preteens. Brooklynn’s personality has always been one of adventure and curiosity. It frightens me.
There are so many questions in today’s world when raising a “middle schooler”. Is it time for a phone? Will she be able to get herself out of 6th-grade girl drama, or do I still swoop in as Super Mom and help? Is she fully prepared with the knowledge and witty comebacks when it comes to boys her age? I would love to say yes, but we live in such a fast-paced, constantly changing world. I don’t know if my “mama heart” is ready for what’s to come.
I have always taught my kids to be open and honest with me. Better to come to me with surprises than for me to find out from someone or somewhere else. My reaction will be much calmer coming from them personally. That does not mean it will come without consequence, but telling me themselves will soften the blow.
Our son never attended child care either. He was raised on a family dairy farm. Besides ourselves, the cows, goats, uncles, and grandparents were all he needed, so when Pre-K sign-ups came around, Blake remained in his little bubble of heaven for an extra year. When he started kindergarten, he was not excited or impressed. He learned to grow and flourish. That same calf-feeding little boy will be a Senior in High School this year and my “mama heart” knows it’s going to be a rough one. Emotions will be all over the place this year. Is he ready for what lies ahead?
Blake has always been an honor roll student. He is not as adventurous as his younger sister. He is comfortable where he is. He wanted to finish where he started, with the friends he has made in his lifetime. He has grown and learned so much. I’m so proud of the young man he has become.
This year he suffered the earth-shattering loss of a close friend. Being there for him has been a high priority on our to-do list as parents. We as a family grew to know and love Braidan as well. Early this morning, Blake left for Florida with some friends. He has checked in a couple of times, but my “mama heart” will not ease until I get the phone call they have arrived safely. Deciding to let him go on a 17-hour drive did not come lightly. We trust him but have no control over what happens on the trip. How is it that we agreed on the allowance for him to go? At some point, you have to have faith and trust that everything will be okay. We raised a good son to make good decisions and we trust the Lord will deliver him and his friends there and back safely.
This school year we will watch as both of our children tackle the milestones they have reached in their short lifetime. I know this is just the beginning of two wonderful journeys. There is no definitive answer to the question, “How do you know when to let them go?” You trust in yourself. Have faith that you have done your job, and done it well. I believe my husband and I are caring parents with two well-brought-up kids.
If you find yourself asking, “Did I do a good job”? Find a quiet place, and reflect on the most important job you have, being a parent. Everyone makes mistakes, but were you able to correct them or learn from them? Do not wait until it’s too late. We all get this one life on Earth, make the most of it. Allow your children to experience life. Raise them to know you are always there for them. That doesn’t mean your parental heart stops worrying or caring. Let life be both terrifying and exciting. You will never truly know when it’s time to let them go, so trust that you have done well as a mentor in your child’s life.
